Does a book of maps even have shoulders to move?

I love books - absolutely adore them.  There’s something so refreshing about cracking open one for the first time, that sound as the binding is stretched and you begin reading that page.  Or the feel of an old one, the edges of each page softened by time to the point you need to lick your fingers to turn them.  And, I’m not proud to admit, I’m addicted to the smell.  When no one is looking, I love to grab an old, musty tome from my shelf (I have a couple I keep around solely for this purpose) and stick my nose in it to get my fix.  I know there are others like me with a passion for books.  We understand each other and share knowing looks at author signings and used-book sales.  But like all passion, there are some who take it just a bit too far and delve into mania.

There is one book in particular that seems to drive its fans into an almost frenzied state.  Mention their favorite book, and these fans become glossy-eyed.  They are overcome by an almost religious adoration.  The book has become an absolute obsession in which the themes of it take over their lives, and they seek to reshape the world in accordance with what they read.  It’s not a particularly well-written book.  It’s author’s sole stated purpose for writing it was making money, hand over fist.  And, perhaps most surprisingly, the book I’m talking about is not Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard (although I will most likely write about that at a later time when I’m feeling up to the litigation).  It’s Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.

                Oh Ayn, you wonderfully evil piece of shit.  So vile and hideous a human being, that the very name Ann refused to have anything to do with you and - through sheer desperation for its survival - altered the very spelling of your name in all texts ever written by or about you to include that ridiculous “Y,” so as to preserve its usage for millions of non-insane women.  I will concede that my view is a bit judgmental, but I am someone who believe in working for the benefit of all people, and that every human being should have the opportunity to live life to the fullest.  So, when confronted by the specter of a woman who espoused a philosophy that can be summed up as “1) Rich people are awesome, 2) All governments suck, and 3) Poor people are horrible because they are blood-sucking leaches on the rich and I hope they all die in a fire,” I tend to get a little rankled.

                I wouldn’t pay her so much attention if it weren’t for the legions of her devotees who see her novel as some sort of guide for life.  I was in an elevator carrying a rather sizeable novel (full disclosure, it was Eisenhorn by Dan Abnett – not exactly high literature, but damn is it a fun read).  There was another man in the elevator, and seeing my book asked, “Oh, you’re reading Atlas Shrugged?”  And when I told him no, the light that had previously been in his eyes went out.  The man looked crest-fallen for a brief second.  It was as if he had a glimmer of hope that the next 25 seconds were going to be a few back and forth comments about the oppression of the superman through government regulation, and other such half-baked thoughts.  And I had crushed that little hope.

                I’ve read a few pages of that book and put it down as unreadable crap.  It really is awkwardly written, with horrendously stilted dialogue.  I’ve had to read through summaries online and in literary papers to learn what the story is about – namely a group of egocentric assholes getting to do whatever they want.  I recently read that it is considered the second most influential book among Americans, after the Bible.  Say what you will about the views and ideas on display in the Bible, at least it is beautifully written. 

Atlas Shrugged has become a sort of Linus blanket for the uber-rich and powerful, and those who want to be one of them.  It approves anti-social behavior conducted in the name of profit.  It encourages selfishness.  It is the Mein Kampf of the CEO and the hedge fund manager.  I just hope that someday soon, Atlas Shrugged will be thought of in a similar manner to the way most people view Main Kampf now – as an historical relic displaying bad ideas that harmed humanity.